Peer-enting

I have a confession. 

Evie is my daughter.

And it's not just that she's my daughter, it's like she's a mini me.

Now here's the connect to the title:  Evie is like a teenage me.  She is totally cool hanging out and doing her own thing by herself.  She is her own independent person.  She is a miniature, introverted, empowered me.

I discovered this today, when I realized that since I became a full time mom, my daughter is not constantly requiring my attention.  Ergo, we do our own thing for most of the day.

I have become a lackadaisical mother.  How depressing is that!?  My degree is in Behavioral Science (Family Studies), translation: I should be the bomb at raising children.  Not that I expected to suddenly be awesome and proactive; I just expected to be more motivated to make play dates, spend an hour reading to her every day, and teaching her letters and how to be super smart.

Reality: We spend most of the day with the tv on while we multi-task pursuing our individual interests.  Occasionally we meet in the middle and play some.  Then there's naptime.  That's the one thing I'm proud of.  We read a couple stories and sing songs as part of the naptime routine.  But other than that we kind of just co-exist.  We're roommates.  What the heck kind of mother am I?

Oy.

Random Musings

1. My back hurts.  Not that that is an uncommon occurrence during pregnancy, but it's starting to remind me of that stage of labor where the baby is about to come and your back is KILLING you because the baby's head is resting on the bottom of your spinal cord.  It hasn't been that bad, but yesterday it was that consistent sort of pain.  It wasn't my favorite.

2. On a happier note, I've finally got a cleaning schedule for the house.  Each day do a something, and usually, by the end of the week 90% of the house has been cleaned.  I feel good about this, in part because Evie likes to "help."

3. This pregnancy has been SO DIFFERENT from my first one.  Despite the "new" inconveniences, it has been a breath of fresh air, so to speak.  I can actually drink water, which I couldn't with Evie.  I feel like I can work out more, and I don't just have to lie on the couch all day b/c I feel like death.  I don't, or didn't, want sweets; that one was kind of sad.  But it's coming back to me :-)  And I definitely haven't been eating as much.  Woot!

4. My daughter thinks she doesn't need naps anymore.  

I strongly disagree.

Something about the way she gets bipolar around 7:00, is asleep by 8:00, and then wakes up at 4:00 the next morning isn't working for me.  This has happened twice this week.  I really don't want to resort to this, but I may have to lay down with her until she falls asleep.  That way I can monitor the "getting out of bed and playing with toys" situation.  On the one hand, I'm glad that she can stay in her room for 2+ hours and just play by herself, on the other hand, she needs a nap.  On the third hand, I really can enjoy her happy mood from 4:00 am to 6:00 pm.  On the fourth hand, if she's going to go to sleep at 8:00, she should at least be sleeping until 7:00 the next morning, which she isn't. Maybe I just need to wear her out more during the morning so she's tired enough for a nap come afternoon?

5.  I am TERRIFIED about our sleeping arrangement once the baby comes.  Mostly because I don't know what kind of sleeper this baby will be.  Should we put the baby in Evie's room, so that we can hear her when she wakes up, but don't wake up every time she moves?  Should we keep her in our room so that Evie's sleep will be as peaceful as possible?  Should one of us sleep on the couch with the baby downstairs, and have one parent attend to Evie at night, and one attend to the baby?  I just don't know, and it has always been the lack of sleep that scares me the most about having this baby.  I know that after the first few months it will all be behind us, I just hope I don't completely lose it before then.

6. Lastly, I recently acquired a bread machine.  I don't have the manual, so I searched online for general bread machine operating.  I thought I had it all figured out, Evie helped me put all the ingredients in the machine, and we were set!  Or so I thought.  After 3+ hours of rumbling and normal bread machine noises, I expectantly opened my machine to find some delicious homemade bread...and was sorely disappointed.  The first thing I saw was the flour and yeast...unmixed and dry.  Needless to say, we did not have homemade bread for dinner.  I feel like an idiot, but question:  Do I have to do the bread making in two parts?  Do the dough setting first, and when that's finished, do I do the baking setting?  I could have sworn that I had my pan all locked in with the kneading blade set, but maybe I didn't?  I don't know.  But I will be investigating this matter further. 

Better Day

Thank you to everyone who consoled me after my pity party yesterday.  I had a MUCH better day today :-)  I looked for it all day.  This is for you, Britany :-).  Today my "This is why it's all worth it" moment was...what's the word?  Insightful?  

Yeah, we'll use insightful.

Story:  This morning, we got started on Toy Story 3 early...like 8:30.  In the meantime, we got some of our morning things done, like breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth, and changing diapers (not necessarily in that order).  Good start.  When the movie was over, Evie promptly brought me the WRONG controller for the Xbox.  As she reached out to give it to me, she said "Please." And as she set it on my lap and turned away she said "Thank You."  There was barely a pause for me to say anything.  She had made herself perfectly clear, and to her, there was no reason for her not to get what she had asked for.  Such a cutie.  (BTW, if I wasn't clear enough, she wanted me to start the movie for her.  Again.)

I realize it might seem odd for me to choose this as my heavenly chorus of "Ah ah ah ah" moment of parenting.  

I shall enlighten you.

Over the last couple of days, I've paid closer attention to my interactions with my daughter.  She is getting better at communicating what she wants specifically.  Six months ago we were doing good if she approached us with "Please?" and we didn't have to ask her to say it.  Now she'll say "This way" or "Come" if she wants something.  She also says "Thank You" by herself...sometimes. 

Also, this afternoon, Evie grabbed her cup of milk, my hand, said "This way," pulled me into the kitchen, and stopped right in front of the sink.  Once we made it to the sink, she held up both her arms for me to pick her up.  I did as directed; she then proceeded to have me unscrew the lid to her cup, and she poured out the milk.  After that unwanted bath, she threw the now empty cup into the sink.  Next she wriggled around for me to put her down.  She took my hand, "This way" again, pulled me two feet to the left and raised her arms, again.  I picked her up, again; she leaned forward and opened the cupboard where we keep her cups.  She carefully selected the closest cup, closed the cupboard door, and asked to be set down.  Once again, she took my hand, "This way," and we ended ten feet to the right.  Facing the fridge.  She tried with all the might her 28 lbs body could muster to open that door.  Then she took my hand, placed it on the handle, and asked "Please?"  I opened the door, she took out a Capri Sun pack (I don't know why Brandon bought those for a TWO YEAR OLD.  Regardless, we had them), gave it to me, and stated "Juice."  She handed me her cup, and patiently waited as I transferred the sugar to her cup.  After completing this series of commands, I was gratefully thanked by my daughter, and she went on her way.

(I'm sorry if this was long-winded for you.)

What hits me as a worthwhile moment from this is:  We've actually, effectively, taught her to use "please" and "thank you."  That feels like one battle won.  Secondly, it is so...rewarding...for me to see how Evie can put a series of necessary events together like that in order to achieve a goal.  She faltered not at all through that whole thing.  She knew exactly what she wanted, and knew exactly what she had to do to get it.  I'm discovering that my daughter is a determined little girl, which is a worthwhile thing to notice.

And that, my friends, is why my moments today were insightful, and not awe-inspiring or overly emotional.  

Today was a good day.

:-)

Meh....

Today wasn't the best day I've ever had.  Have you ever been in a situation where your only option was to just let the child scream bloody murder because you've tried everything else?  

I have.

More than once.

I remember when I first had Evie; we were still in the hospital, and they sent in a nurse to teach me a little something about babies: they cry.  Yes, it surprised me too.  I specifically remember her (the nurse) sitting at the foot of my bed, telling me about Shaking Baby Syndrome, or whatever it's called--something to that effect, and she said "It's OK to set your baby down in the crib and go outside for 5 minutes to collect yourself.  Your baby will be fine.  You take care of yourself when you get to that point."  

I feel like I've taken that advice, a lot.  And it has saved my sanity.  So, note to all you expecting and future mothers: It is OK to set your baby down, screaming till they're blue, and leave the room while you search for the remnants of your sanity.  Don't feel bad.  You're doing that baby a favor.

Patience.  

That's one of the keys of parenting, just so's you know.  I have to remind myself of that lots...especially since Evie has entered a repetitive stage of her vocal development.  Summoning my patience for the constant marathon of "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom"  "What, Evie?" "Mom, Mom, Mom," etc, has become a more frequent challenge in recent months.

These two musings comprised my morning, and I just kind of...floated through the rest of my day.  Not a whole lot of energy.  My supply for the day was gone by 10 am.  AND, I took my vitamins and ate my Honey Nut Cheerios.  Still, it left me.  

Sad story.

Fortunately for me, my husband loves me, spoils me, for some reason.  He took care of dinner for me tonight, and bought me cupcakes from my FAVORITE place :-) The Sweet Tooth Fairy Aw, cupcakes :-)  What a great, wonderful, intuitive, sensitive husband I have :-)

Evie's United Way Photo Shoot

Evie did a photo shoot for United Way (obviously) and these are the results :-)  The only catch was I have to put in a plug for United Way, so go check out their blog: http://bit.ly/hJUEeA

 

For those of you who may not know, the white board that she is holding is a place holder for the PR and communications people.  So, when they go in and edit the pictures, it's easy for them to put in the United Way logo right where they have the white board.

Now that I have the pictures....

A picture update of our lives since we moved to our own little apartment last year--

So sweet asleep.

We made a breakfast run for donuts. Evie couldn't wait until we got home.

Yes, we made our daughter dress up as Batwoman for Halloween.

Evie loved that I babysat little Kymbree last semester. They were so cute together!

I just think she's so gosh-darn cute in her church clothes :-)

I bought some curlers for experimenting on my hair...Evie REALLY wanted to join the party.

Who doesn't like bathtub shots?
(Please no off-color remarks).

My first attempt at french braids in Evie's hair. I thought it was successful :-)

Evie excited Christmas morning...

...and the carnage begins.

The cutie grandkids at Christmas. This was the best picture I got of poor Alex's eye :-(

Evie's thoughtful Uncle Zack got her bear feet slippers which she refuses to wear

One of the traditions in our home is to take pictures of our German pancakes right when they come out of the oven. We like to see how high the sides rise... :-)

One of Brandon's employees makes cute little tutus, and she gave this one to Evie.

Evie attended her cousin, Hawnee's, 3rd birthday party in January

Hawnee with her daddy and my cousin, Chris.

This is our happy family :-)

Evie's Growing Up

I feel bad that I don't have too much to blog about aside from my little project that I have going on, but I noticed something that Evie did today that really hit me hard. She's started to actually play with her toys.

Let me explain. Babies start out "playing" with toys by learning to hold them, bite them, and bang them on other things. Toddlers begin stacking and organizing toys. Today, I observed my daughter creating a story with her toys. She had a little action figure, and a toy horse, and she had the action figure riding the horse, and she was narrating what was happening. And while I watched this I realized, "My little girl...is just that: a little girl. She isn't a baby or a toddler anymore. She's turning into a miniature walking, (intelligibly) talking person." It made me stop and reminisce a little, about how it doesn't seem as though I've been a parent that long, but at the same time, it's as though I've been her mother for forever. I definitely feel as though we're entering a distinctly new phase of our existence together; I'm looking forward to this.